It’s Been a While…

Wow. Yes. It has been quite some time.

It has been on my list of things to do for several months now, but I was scared.

Afraid to start again. Afraid of explaining why I left off when I did. Will anyone still be here when I come back?

Let me start out by saying depression does a lot of things to you on the inside, even when it seems like you have your shit together and everything is fine on the outside. It started out as that, when I closed the shop at the end of May. I felt like I had failed. I had thrown in the towel. I quit.

But then I realized it was a learning experience. I had other opportunities open up then, and have been really enjoying some things. But in the back of my mind, I felt guilty. Like I had abandoned what I worked for.

And that is where I figured out what was wrong. It had become work. A slog. It was not fun anymore. I brought me no joy to tangle. I laid down my pens for a few months.

I started knitting… a lot. I bought a lot of yarn. I knitted more. I started playing with yarn dyeing.

Then I started thinking about paper again. I wondered what I had been missing. I dabbled a bit, but nothing serious. I started participating in the Diva Challenge again when she had her Back to Basics (#366) and got busy with those. Slowly at first. I pulled out a handmade journal that my friend Nancy Dawes gave me, and started working in that. I labeled the inside cover “Starting Over – September 2018.”

I decided to participate in the Inktober Tangles 2018…I thought that would give me a goodly amount of practice to get my “zen” back.

And I started to feel like I got my mojo back. So here I am. And here is Diva Challenge #375, Use My Tangle (UMT) Burtz by Fabienne Blumberg, along with a cool new tangle, Ratoon, by Zentangle. I’ll have more on that in a future blog.

Diva #375

Lots of other things have happened since my last post. I feel like this is kind of a confessional, but in a good way. Forgive me readers, for I have been a sloth.

I went to Dublin and Boston with Mike (he was working)…twice.

I taught at Midsummer Tangle 4 in Buffalo, New York, and got to visit Canada and Niagara Falls.

Went to a couple of concerts (Shinedown/Godsmack and Scorpions) with my favorite guy.

And went on a Rick Steves My Way tour to Italy for a couple weeks.

Oh, and not to leave out, we celebrated a great big birthday for Mike…60! And went to a great wedding in Ohio for my God-daughter, Monica, and her beloved, Cody.

IMG_1392.jpg

I think that about covers it for now. You are up to date. I am still overwhelmed and trying to figure out how to get caught up, but in the meantime, the washer just buzzed…so back to that.

I’ll be back soon.

11 thoughts on “It’s Been a While…

  1. First of all–always take the time you need for yourself. You don’t owe us any explanation for taking time off. I applaud you for your self-care, and welcome you back.
    The work you’ve done is the meantime is gorgeous.
    I love the butterfly photo–they seldom stay still long enough to get a good picture!
    I’m so jealous of your trip to Italy. It’s on my bucket list, but we won’t go any time soon. A dear friend went on the Rick Steves tour a couple years ago and loved it. I hope it was as wonderful for you and Mike.
    Love you.

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  2. Sorry to hear about everything going on in your life. Sounds like you might be back on the road again. It was good to hear from you.

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  3. Thanks for sharing both your story and all your beautiful artwork. I also enjoyed seeing all those places in fabulous Italy–I can’t wait to go again!

    It is hard to get back after you’ve been away a while, but you’ve taken the first step. I’ve just come back to the Diva’s Challenge after a long time also, so we can be return buddies.

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  4. Welcome back; good to ‘see’ you again!!!! And thanks for telling what it was that kept you away, no need to, but quite courageous. Your knitting is beautiful and so is all the the tangling! Have a great weekend!!!

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  5. I just found your blog through the Diva challenge. I hope you are feeling well. Your drawings do look truly beautiful and I love the Zendala that you’ve drawn with Burtz.

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  6. Oh the places you go and the things you see…It looks like the two of you celebrated Mike’s big 60 quite well.Char, you tangles are fantastic and one who never know you haven’t done it in a while. Love the knitting and the colors are so bright! I’ve missed you this year. Hope to see you at the next Tangle U so you can get back into the groove and find your zen again! Take care of yourself my friend. The world needs you!

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  7. You are very courageous in sharing your journey and I applaud you for taking the time to step back, work through the grief and take the break you needed. I understand wholeheartedly as I suffer from what Drs have labeled a severe case of Major Depressive Disorder. Some days it’s a minor miracle just to be able to get out of bed. I’m very glad that yours didn’t seem to be that bad…based on all of the traveling photos and the wonderful ventures you had over your break. Wow! I’m jealous! I love how you eased your way back in…. sometimes baby steps are what’s best. Welcome back. Hugs to you!

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